BOARD MEMO

REF:: ACQ-004
DATE:: THE DAY YOU ARE READING THIS
SUBJECT:: Status of the approach
PREPARED BY:: TAKE STAKE
STATUS:: PARODY

The committee met. Attendance was strong. The agenda had one item.

It was resolved that the offer, which does not exist, remains outstanding. It was further resolved that the offer be described as 'compelling' in all public materials.

A motion to describe the offer as 'generous' was tabled pending the next milestone.

The committee then watched the chart for forty minutes. The meeting concluded without incident.

Action items: remain calm.